Mind-Body Dualism/Louden Up Now/Perfect Moment.

I had my first ride back today. It went something like this..

Legs and other major skeletal muscle groups: Rested. Red hot and rearing to go.
Lungs: Sketchy at first, however warmed to the whole Idea. I threw up a little bit into my mouth about 15 minutes into first climb.
Mind: After said vomiting into my mouth a tad undecided,however soon got into it.

It was an incredible ride for three reasons, first..It wasn't raining, it was on and off road, and the part of it that was off road was wet in a satisfying "kid cooped up in a house for a while jumping in puddles kind of way".It's got some slimy natural cobble-like rocks, and I just pretend that I'm on a 'cross bike or doing part of Paris-Roubaix. It's imagination-tastic!!! The on road part of the ride was dry, I saw some beautiful native bush, and got to look at some beautiful cottages in said beautiful native bush. It had hills, of the large up and down kind.. I got muddy, got some Kms in...what more could a man want??

Second. This album on the headphones. I had the honour of being the bass player in a band that headlined one of the last A LOW HUM with CUT OFF YOUR HANDS and the Stunning, Psychedelic Pirate Train Wreck Git Down Explosion that is THOUGHT CREATURE. It was a fucking magic time, and both these bands are jam packed with incredible people and are amazing for seemingly disparate reasons, anyhoo...I picked up Louden Up Now in Nelson* (top of the South Island) It was residing in the bargain bin...I was thrilled. But I digress.... I love this album, It's a trigger to thinking of good times. It was a treat to let the mind wander over those memories that have been shut away for a while now..

Thirdly, I had a perfect moment, watching a four year old on a bike on the fire road/trail riding through every puddle he could find, in absolute raptures. we locked eyes as I rode past, I smiled and thought "Yeah man..I Know EXACTLY how you feel..and yes. You never have to stop having that much fun.Doing what you're doing pretty much always feels that great and furthermore, Lots of us grown ups still do exactly what you're doing now". Yet another moment that cements my love of riding bikes and those that ride them.

I am just about four weeks shy of my first winter series ride, and feel like things are hopefully going swimmingly for a mid pack finish. Which may seem under selling myself to some of you, but seems to me like a perfectly good place to start.

*Nelson, It's a beautiful place. It really is. It's a place of firsts for me. First (and only)time a girl has ever invited my to another island so she can break up with me in the bedroom she grew up in after a Swedish wedding and then invite me to go kayaking the next day. First time I've been offered pot in the street by a pensioner. And first time I've been accused of stealing a scarf that was mine in a salvation army op shop. Heady memories. Just heady.

WTFJH

I've been sick this week, and it's kinda sucked. I've not been off the bike for this long in about six months..It's been five days, but five days I've needed. My poor poor poor lungs. The biggest thiing for me has been allowing myself to get better. The first ride of the winter series is approx one month away.. I have to put some miles in for real..

Considering I tell people that "you deserve to feel better than this" "you should take some time to get well..blah blah blah" for a living, it's suprisingly harder than I thought.

Someone pressed the Wound Full On button at work today, It felt like I walked in the door at 0800, the pager went, and then WOOOOOOOOOOSH, I was staggering out scratching my head with a "What the fuck just happened??" expression on my face. Still, I've got two days of sweet sweet time off and hoping to maybe slot a ride in tomorrow, should be sweet.

Speaking of sweet things here's this to end on...lovely.

My wife is Flemmish..

No wonder she's awesome.

Green Tea rules. Waitakere City Council sucks.

I Must Above All Else Love Myself.

Mental state: Improved.
Physical state: Body gone completely on strike(like the Junior Doctors...Hey! maybe my body is a Junior Doctor!!!). I have green coming out of me and I feel rougher than a bear turd rolled in fish hooks.I am repeating the title of this post as a mantra. I must also allow myself rest, warm clothing, water, oranges, Kumara and Leek soup and lots of water. I have to work as well. That should be half-assed tastic!!

In my current shape I certainly couldn't shimmy around like these dandys...

Bad News Bears

My job is really hard sometimes.
I work in acute adult mental health, what used to be called "crisis teams". You know, the guys who wore the natty suits and chased Russel Crowe in A Beautiful Mind...

My job is mostly incredibly fulfilling, heart warming, challenging and indescribably humourous. I thank the heavens for 99% of the people that I have ever met whilst on the job. I've shared things with people that most people never will get to, raw undiluted humanity at it's epoch and nadir. and I'll wager that few people can turn up to work know that you can trust your co worker with your life, because you've had to before. I guess at brass tacks It's nice to feel as if you're putting something back into a community when you punch in for the day.

My job is also, at times mind numbingly boring, soul destroyingly sad/frustratinng and occasionally (very occasionlly)completely and utterly terrifying.

We manage a great degree of risk in the community and put things in place to help people keep themselves safe. Sometimes, despite our best efforts, people do stuff to harm themselves. Every time it happens it.... well, "Totally sucks" seems to be under stating it somewhat, but let's go with that.

Every time it is sad, but most times training, experience and de briefing gets you through I guess, and you feel like you're okay. This isn't one of those times...

This is one of those times where you feel that(despite all the rational stuff that you tell yourself)you've failed. Failed yourself, failed the person, failed our service and failed the family. It's a horrible place to be. And I'm right there now.

I've been here before, anyone who's good at the job has. It wont stop me turning up, and I'll ride these feelings out, just like I have before. You just have to keep going,and it totally becomes awesome again. But for now.. I feel fucking awful.

I'm also getting sick, one month out from my race. And debated with myself all day "should I? Shouldn't I?" go riding, as I've been doing so with vim these past months.. The dizziness and horizontal Ice water from the heavens put paid to that notion by three pm and I've settled for wrapping up warm, Rebecca's awesome Celery, Leek and Potato soup and most importantly, lots of wine. I feel marignally less awful. I'm off to curl up on the couch with Dr Who, Myth busters and stray beers from the fridge (Starve a fever, booze a cold?> Hopefully I'll be fit enough for a ride tomorrow, but for tonight it's a drunk geek fest.

I had my haircut. I Look like a fat marine. Think Vincent D'Onofrio in Full Metal Jacket without the psychosis,or towel party. hopefully.

Sunshine/Freezing Rain/Put the World to Rights/Call Me Out!!

The years just seem to fly by, don't they?
Riding continues unabated, through sunshine, freezing rain (ICE WATER) Both on and off road... the training is going swimmingly.
Last Wednesday consisted of a brilliant spin/put the world to rights session with Girl Lightning and Obi Wan

GL and I headed out for a quick loop before the light faded, as Obi Wan had become snarled in traffic. Arriving back, to find Obi Wan, Dangerous and Vexed, lamenting the state of Auckland in general we headed off proper. It was a beautiful ride, trails marginally more packed down (And washed out) thanks to the rain. Parked over on the side of the trails with head torches off to save power, we indulged in the kind of conversation that usually centers around pints of beer, roaring fires and dart boards. This ride further cemented my love of bikes, and those that ride them.

Yesterday found me at the family compound to celebrate our nephew's first birthday..Well done that man!! Food was consumed and happy birthdays sung. It was grand..

We headed back to the family ranch with two thirds of the Three Kings Massive in tow, and with Rebs and Thommo duly entertained I struck out for a late afternoon spin.

Lovely ride, sea level to mountain top, both on and off road. And in true West Auckland style I almost became embroiled in the noble art of fisticuffs...

A quick note to all you Muddy-Ginger haired weak chinned throwbacks, the Chlamydia ravaged half sisters, and the dude in the Xtra Tall T shirt flagging yo' colours...

IF you make to whip a rock at me while I'm flying down a hill I will flip you off and mouth "Fuck You". I kinda look at that kind of action as essentially calling someone out, however I passed you and kept going..episode over, right?

IF However, on the return climb I find you all waiting for me, attempting to "Staunch me out" I will take it upon myself to call you both out (Chlamydia ravaged half sister aside, I am a gentleman after all). I Will use such words as Fucktard and I will use it in anger. I will inquire if there is anything that is wished to be said, AND the fact that you both backed down so quickly makes me want to beat on you even more...Thank god for this thing

Incident averted by Throwback cowardice I arrived home to find an MME (Messy Mothers Evening) in full swing. Roasts were cooked, fun was had and Wives (Mine) were drunk under the table by other wives (Three Kings Massive Represent!!!). Beers, food, exercise, physical violence and vomiting....the quintessential West Auckland Sunday afternoon.

Strange times, Indeed.

I didn't know that "Lobo" in english was "Wolf". That makes Los Lobos actually a bad ass name.The Wolves!!! Awesome! Sheriff Lobo is also badass...

New rubber on the steed+ New hydro pack x rain easing up(Night ride tomorrow with the gang) = Happy Happy man.

I'm a sucker for a good rhythm section (having been one half of a good rhythm section I feel justified to comment)

Ribs/TMDGAF/Ultramarathon??

It's RAINING So long dry, drifty, rib hurty trails!

Have been hitting out on and off the road with stunning regularity. Got out last wednesday with Sneaky Pete for a few pleasant hours, I thoroughly and totally enjoy that man's company. His post-surf-busted-rib pace made for a nice departure from my usual solo pushing myself like crazy. It was awesome.

After some hours on the road (whereby I resolved to get a trainer for the road,and my resolution was accepted!*) I was lucky enough to get out for a solid few hours on the dirt on friday, hurt rib nonwithstanding it was grand!

I've manned up and entered the first one of these all going well I'll be able to knock them all off..The words MARATHON and ULTRAMARATHON are starting to rattle around my head for August and October.

I've got two days off now, gonna ride on Wednesday night with Girl Lightning, Obi Wan Kenobi and maybe (maybe??) the venerable STEPTOE!!!! ahhhhhh yeah. The Iron Eagle himself. mint.

Despite everything being pretty much Tickety Boo (Cottingham 2001) I am feeling dangerous and vexed. I wont' be airing my dirty laundry here, so I'll say it via the most profane British single ever...



*By Rebecca!!!

30 in 30/Carrot vs Stick/Mudguard.

I am dry as all get out, why? Because I have one of these. oh sure..It ain't rained yet, but man, when it does ( shakes fist at sky)That's right.

Riding nearly every day is a great thing. I do so responsibly, leaving early (or late) to fit around family, but yeah. Love it. The last three days have involved an on/off road ride in the late sunshine, a quick couple of hours before work in the forest (where, as it turns out, a $10000 carbon bike wont actually make you go faster)and another on/off road sojourn today. I rode up a gravel road hill that reminded me of Colville, got to the top and asked myself "what would JB do (probably, I barely know her)??" and duly flipped back down the hill and up and down and back up and back down etc etc. It was awesomeful (lit. of being both awesome and awful).

Duly home, training schedule complete for may and bacon sarnies up in I'm feeling good, if not a little thrown by daylight savings. Work this afternoon with Jos the even tempered, home visit-tastic.

On to far more exciting news, Rebecca and I sampled the first of the Strangeview Gardens yield today.. a baby carrot. it was fucking delicious. more of that business, I say.

Looping back to my original statement " Riding nearly every day is a great thing"I like all good scientists, plan to expand that postulate to test how much greater riding every day will be. I plan to base my study on the stevilian institute of scienceology and metaphoricalism's groundbreaking research and ride 30 in 30. Thirty rides in thirty days. In June. I have gained approval from the ethics committee (Rebecca) and will keep you post with the results. would have do this sooner, but May, all 31 days of it, put paid to that. Fuck you May.

There was a "presumably" drunk guy singing "just a giggalo" at the top of his voice before, dunno what's up with that but man, he just kept focusing on the "I aint got nobody" part. damn. 1100 in the morning on a Sunday. Rough.

And now, on the subject of drunk guys freaking out just a little bit...

That Was The Most Fun Thing Ever Ever/Mighty Mouse/A Punk

Night riding is the best thing I have ever done on a bike. Awesome ride with three frighteningly good/fit riders, Girl Lightning, Obi Wan Kenobi (Can see in the dark, use the force, all that stuff...) and the terrifyingly most riding-est already-rode-four-hours-today-but-what-the-hell going to the 24 hour world champs-ing-est JB.

I was beside myself before we set off, but.. turns out I had nothing to worry about. Sure, they were prolly meandering somewhat but even so, I had figured it would be drop city. It wasn't. Riding lots is good.

Four days of work were a blur... Tend to take a lot of stuff in my stride nowdays, but those last four were a doozy. I'll drop some keywords- "NAKED PERSIANS" "HELIUM SUICIDE MACHINE" "CHLORINE NAIL BOMB". It ain't all like this (in fact, it hardly ever is) but goodness.. when it rains...

Still,

Life is good. Got two days off now. Went swimming with Thom this morning, Got the L word next to me, wife in the garden.. then dinner, Some beer. Plan my training (there, I said it) for the Rotorua series and clean my bike. Life is good.

Life is really good...Life is Dirtbombs in a bowling alley good. Just That Good.